Christmas and Clean Water

The first two show the problem, the third shows our role.

How to face death

Freedom's Flavor (Reflections on Porn Part 4)

If you’ve been a slave freedom has a taste that is almost too wonderful to describe. Freedom for me means something significantly more than the term thrown around America. I think Freedom has come to mean the ability to do anything, but I don’t think that’s freedom. I think freedom is freedom to pursue the fullness of life. For me Porn was not freedom. I had the legal ability to choose to look at porn, but I lacked the ability to not look at. That’s what it means to be enslaved. I know some people God has given more self-control, but I was not one of those folks.

This last Friday night I had dinner with some friends at the UGM downtown. I was walking about 3rd about 7:30pm. It’s Halloween and people are just starting to come out for the evening’s festivities. The club music is pounding in the background, and the lights from the bars are hitting the sidewalks. This might not seem like too much, unless you’ve been an addict. 3 years ago I would not have been able to walk passed bars. My mind was constantly thinking about lust. I could not say no to temptation. Halloween weekend three years ago was hell. On the other side of transformation is the power to walk by bars and clubs selling sex. On this side is the power to sit and a computer in an empty house and have the ability to turn it off at the first hint of temptation. This is freedom. My wife comes home tonight and I can embrace her without shame. I can accept her love fully, because I have no secrets no news to break. It’s so hard to describe the difference. Addiction is absolute hell. If not for the grace of God in my life, I would still be an addict, and I would welcome my wife home with shame and guilt in my heart.

An Awkward Conversation (Reflections on Porn Part 3)

It's not much of a secret what guys do when they look at Porn. We do need to talk about masturbation in order that the conversation around Porn be complete. For me it is sometimes like smoking to heroin addicts. It seems harmless by comparison, but is addictive and brings death just the same. I realize my stance on this issue may seem a little more rigid than some, but I hope I can give some different perspective to an issue I think we are very uncomfortable to talk about.





The most damaging aspect of masturbation is that it reinforces a pathology of control. Usually masturbation centers around a very specific ritual. Over time the brain will actually increase serotonin levels in response to this ritual. The brain can actually become addicted to this increased serotonin in the brain. This level of addiction has been ranked as being on par or greater than heroin. Of course this addiction reinforces the desire to participate in the ritual. So the individual trapped in this enters a marriage relationship and all the sudden sex is more spontaneous. There are distractions and lots of things that can not be controlled. The serotonin in the brain is actually lower, because the specifics of the ritual are not being followed. Masturbation has the potential to destroy sex in a marriage.





Masturbation is also an entirely selfish act. The only objective is to satisify one's self. Healthy sex involves focusing on giving your wife pleasure, not yourself. Masturbation perverts healthy sexual desire and makes it all about gratifying one's self.

Porn is Not the Problem (Reflections on Porn Part 2)

First of all Porn is a problem, but it is also a response to the root problem. I remember being consumed by lust all day long and then when I would get home try to fight off the urge to resist Porn. The problem is I have already let the fox in the hen house. The problem is that what I have been filling my mind with all day long will bear fruit, like it or not. Sometimes the decision to look at Porn at 9:00pm was made at 6:30am when I decided to start lusting after someone on the bus.

This to me is exactly the lesson Jesus is teaching when he says "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt 5:27 -28). Now don't miss the point. The laws are meant to give us freedom, by keeping us from getting captured by things that would destroy. Jesus is saying here that your mind is enslaved, whether or not you commit any sinful actions. To focus on computer software to help us avoid porn (which is a good thing) but ignoring the lust that consumes our thoughts is to ignore the vast majority of the problem. Software is a great way to remind us we are accountable, but we also need vitally to be in relationships with guys(who will call us out on stuff) that we share our thoughts with. This for me was the 2nd most important aspect of recovery. It was in these settings that I learned how to confess my sin.

The last thing in the world I want is to make the bible into a how-to book. The following verses did however help me focus on renewing my mind. Romans 12: 1- 2 tells us Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Renewing our minds is vital to be transformed. Philippians 4:8 - 9 guides us towards what we should think about. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. This second verse gave me the idea of centering my day. This is nothing new, people have been practicing centering prayer for hundreds of years. I would take a few thoughts that I absolutely know to be true, right and pure and intentionally dwell on them throughout my day. I remember the first time my daughter came home from church and sang Jesus loves me to us. She was almost 2. This was one of those thoughts. If my thoughts are centered on that event, lust seems horribly out of place. When our minds are busied with nonsense and stress and worry lust seems (though very much a lie) like a welcomed relief.

Confession of a Nerd (Reflections on Porn, Part 1)

Mark Driscoll is releasing a book on Porn. I applaud anyone in the Church who talks about this issue, the silence is killing us. The very nature of Porn is something to be hidden and done in isolation, so bringing the discussion out in the open is the first step we as the Church need to take. I should start by saying I was addicted to Porn since I was very young, I didn't have access to Porn until I was 18. That might not make sense to some, but hopefully over the next couple of days I will walk through my journey and it will become clear. I should also say that Christ is the over comer, if not for Him I would still be enslaved to my addiction. I also think there are things Christ would have us do in response to addiction. I do think the way we approach Sexual Addiction (Porn Addiction is included in this) needs to be modified. I'll get into this later.

This post I want to talk about how I believe I cultivated a heart where this addiction would thrive, and this is the part that makes me a little leery of Driscoll's methods. First I don't know anything about Driscoll's book other than the Intro and the 1st chapter. I hope he nails it. The second is that wanting to be really macho and tough led me to Porn. I have struggled to listen to what Mark says because often times he is blatantly promoting that all Christian males should be macho and tough. I grew up with a father who was a great wrestler and a muscular construction worker. I grew up looking up to sports hero's and cowboy's. Seems pretty normal and all American. I played sports all through High School. The thing is God gave me a brain that is really good in Math and Science, and a body to match that brain. I'm skinny and mediocre to below average in sports. There is nothing wrong with that, unless you're in a culture that idolizes sports and the macho/tough image of males. The assumption in my young brain was that I am failing at "being a man". The next step was to find a place where I could be a tough man, and that turned out to be my own fantasies. This is where the root of the problem of sexual addiction lies. Paul talks about exchanging the truth for a lie, and that is what we do with Porn. The images just help us further convince our lying mind that our fantasy is real. This is my problem with the tough guy image. Being a man does not mean being "tough".

Of course I only notice this in retrospect. Driscoll is my brother, no matter how I feel about his style. This is just a caution when we promote that God wants all males to be macho and tough, we may be destroying the nerd who is sitting on the back row.

Theology of Suffering

I listened to an old podcast I had forgotten about

http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/information/sermons/preacher/celestine-musekura/

I encourage everyone to take the time to listen to it. It reminded me about the cost of discipleship. Celestine talks about receiving beatings for the gospel. Many pastors spent days hiking through swamps, fighting hippos and crocodiles just so they could get to a conference to learn how to better serve their people. A woman named Mary used to get up very early every morning to collect cans alongside the road, so she could sponsor a child. Without that sponsorship Celestine would not be where he is today, and I would not have been reminded so vividly about the cost of discipleship.

Forgive me for Crucifying you

This is why we are able to have hope at funerals. This is why we are able to live unafraid to die. The resurrection of Christ means we can be saved redeemed.

This morning I awoke thinking of all the Christ-followers who have shown me what radical forgiveness looks like. Having experienced it first hand, has changed everything about who I am. The ways in which people have forgiven me, and continued to love me despite my failures astounds me. Radical forgiveness is only possible with love. And to radically forgive strangers is only possible with Christ in us.

With all the court cases on TV and in the paper in this country, and 80% or so of us being Christian, I wonder why we don't hear of more occurrences of radical forgiveness. It was this scandalous grace that resurrected us from the death that was our own sin. And yet when people harm us we scream for vengeance and retribution. This next year I am praying the church will show the world what grace and forgiveness are all about, by practicing what they preach.

Resisting the Empire

The election season is nigh upon us. Lot's of folks are asking what kingdom of God people should do when it comes to elections. Essentially, should we be red or blue?

This is how the world phrases questions for us. Are you for mothers or babies? Are you for workers or immigrants? Do you give the poor jobs or money? The list goes on and on. Jesus got these questions, and he always came up with a radical third way of answering them. What if we said we love mothers and babies. And by love we mean we will take them into our homes, not just try and change their minds. If we look at these situations through the lens of radical love, the solution is neither of the two options presented by the world, it is a radical third way. The catch is it involves huge sacrifice on the part of the lover.

Now what do we do about the upcoming election? Back in the first generation of the church the saying Jesus is Lord was particularly offensive. You see the Romans had a saying too, Caesar is Lord. It was this resistance to the empire that got most of them killed. Before we go any further I am not advocating suicide, but I am advocating resistance.

Imagine if the entire church in America united and said "Jesus is our Leader (president), we will not vote." Already you may have had the thought, "but THEY would win if we did that". I felt it too initially. I suggest this, by refusing to vote we are saying that whoever is elected will not determine how we respond to the world. We respond with radical love to all, because of the love Christ has placed in our hearts. It does not matter if the tax rate goes up or down, we will still give sacrificially. It does not matter what the state says about marriage we will be faithful to our God and spouses, and love homosexuals. It does not matter if the state builds walls between us and Mexico, we will love US workers, Mexican immigrants, Iraqi civilians, US soldiers, and Al Quadi insurgents alike. None are to far gone for God's grace.

I know sometimes I am guilty of saying, "if the government could create this situation, the gospel could advance." We trust in God for protection and guidance. When dramatic situations arise we respond based on what we put in our hearts. If we are filling our hearts with Jesus, it doesn't matter what situation, whether peaceful or dangerous, our response will be one of radical love. When non-Christians see us act with radical love no matter what the situation, the gospel message will go forward. Unfortunately love looks most radical in the midst of suffering.

God Bless the Revolution.

Street Roots and Starbucks

I've been thinking a lot about some very interesting business models. Tom's Shoes, BogoLight, and the like. Tom's Shoes is a for profit company that sells trendy canvas type shoes, and for every shoe that is purchased the give one to a barefooted kid in a third world country. BogoLight is a similar model where you can purchase an amazing LED / Solar charging flashlight, and one gets donated to a kid in Africa. These kids don't have electricity, and need these lights to practice reading at night, and for practical tasks such as walking to the latrine at night.

These things are amazing business models, but we need to support them. I am also thinking about the American church and our addiction to comfort. I think we will "sacrifice" as long as it doesn't infringe on our comfort. But then again isn't infringing on our comfort the definition of sacrifice. I know, at least in the Northwest, we have a coffee addiction. Folks will pay anywhere from 1.50 to 4.00$ everyday to get the cup of joe. Streets Roots is printed twice a month, and costs one dollar. So on average Christians would have to sacrifice one cup of coffee a month to purchase an issue of Street Roots from a vendor, twice monthly. This vendor would then have an income and the dignity associated with a job. One cup of coffee a month seems so small, but why does it also seem so hard.

God: How about death, and then resurrection. I'll go first.

I’ve been thinking about a convergence of forces lately. The debt crisis, obesity, divorce rates. I’m concerned that when it comes to these issues the church looks no different than the American Culture; in fact some argue they are worse.

I've said before that I think the problem we have presenting an Americanized version of the gospel is that it is not radical enough. How is it relevant if it is just another product for us to add to our list of consumables.

In school we are taught a little, and then we practice a little. We learn about adverbs, and then write sentences with adverbs. We learn a little algebra, and then we solve equations. But when it comes to church and bible studies, we learn a little theology, a little philosphy and then close our books and reflect on it for the week. Now I'm not against reflection, but I am for action. I want to be someone who says lets read the words of Jesus, and then see if we can do what he did, this next week.

It's curious how Jesus doesn't say go and convert, he says go and make disciples. Discipleship is basically the same as an apprenticeship. How can someone be an apprentice, by being taught with words only. My dad taught me a lot of wrestling. He could say do this or that, and unless he showed me, and we walked through it together, I never got it. But then I had to practice it. I had to make mistakes and screw it up, but eventually I would get to a point where I didn't even need to think about what I was doing because it became instinct.

Our instincts should be the work of Christ, because that is what we are practicing.