Sunday, November 9, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Freedom's Flavor (Reflections on Porn Part 4)
If you’ve been a slave freedom has a taste that is almost too wonderful to describe. Freedom for me means something significantly more than the term thrown around America. I think Freedom has come to mean the ability to do anything, but I don’t think that’s freedom. I think freedom is freedom to pursue the fullness of life. For me Porn was not freedom. I had the legal ability to choose to look at porn, but I lacked the ability to not look at. That’s what it means to be enslaved. I know some people God has given more self-control, but I was not one of those folks.
This last Friday night I had dinner with some friends at the UGM downtown. I was walking about 3rd about 7:30pm. It’s Halloween and people are just starting to come out for the evening’s festivities. The club music is pounding in the background, and the lights from the bars are hitting the sidewalks. This might not seem like too much, unless you’ve been an addict. 3 years ago I would not have been able to walk passed bars. My mind was constantly thinking about lust. I could not say no to temptation. Halloween weekend three years ago was hell. On the other side of transformation is the power to walk by bars and clubs selling sex. On this side is the power to sit and a computer in an empty house and have the ability to turn it off at the first hint of temptation. This is freedom. My wife comes home tonight and I can embrace her without shame. I can accept her love fully, because I have no secrets no news to break. It’s so hard to describe the difference. Addiction is absolute hell. If not for the grace of God in my life, I would still be an addict, and I would welcome my wife home with shame and guilt in my heart.
This last Friday night I had dinner with some friends at the UGM downtown. I was walking about 3rd about 7:30pm. It’s Halloween and people are just starting to come out for the evening’s festivities. The club music is pounding in the background, and the lights from the bars are hitting the sidewalks. This might not seem like too much, unless you’ve been an addict. 3 years ago I would not have been able to walk passed bars. My mind was constantly thinking about lust. I could not say no to temptation. Halloween weekend three years ago was hell. On the other side of transformation is the power to walk by bars and clubs selling sex. On this side is the power to sit and a computer in an empty house and have the ability to turn it off at the first hint of temptation. This is freedom. My wife comes home tonight and I can embrace her without shame. I can accept her love fully, because I have no secrets no news to break. It’s so hard to describe the difference. Addiction is absolute hell. If not for the grace of God in my life, I would still be an addict, and I would welcome my wife home with shame and guilt in my heart.
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